A man in northern Minnesota woke up one morning to find a bear on his
roof. He looked in the Yellow Pages, and sure enough, there was an ad
for “Up North Bear Removers.” He called the number listed and the bear
remover said he’d be over within an hour.
The bear remover arrived, and got out of his van. He had a ladder, a
baseball bat, a 12 gauge shotgun, and a mean looking, heavily scarred
old pit bull. “What are you going to do?” the homeowner asked.
“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go
up there, and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When
the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his
testicles, and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me
to put him in the cage in the back of the van.”
He then handed the shotgun to the homeowner. “What’s the shotgun for?”
the homeowner asked.
“If the bear knocks me off the roof, you shoot the dog.”
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